especially considering we also had a professional relationship outside the doctor/patient one He would give me goals, ask 3 random men out for coffee over the week and so on, I wouldn't follow through. He constantly harped on my feelings that I did not make good choices and low self esteem when it comes to relationships, odd since I handle everything so well but have the eternal broken picker. He would tell me over and over that I was never going to fix it unless I got out there and tried to do something different. If I didn't practice how was I going to get better at it? I also joined a meetup group for single women and learned a lot about myself and the mistakes that I make. I ended up dropping out of that because those women were on a focused mission to find a husband and I wasn't. Since then I've managed to fill up my life with so much stuff that it would be unfair to bring someone into it. What would want to be with a woman who works 18 hours a day, who works a day job and then sits on the couch every evening until the wee hours of the morning working on her business she is building? how good I am at making excuses? I have my moments, my day job is ending next week and it is sink or swim on my other business. Its times like this I wish there was someone in my life, someone I could count on, someone who understood the real me, not the me that everyone sees. But it isn't going to happen because I don't trust myself enough to not make the same mistake again. That's the path all of my excuses follow. You're still. I'm older and getting more set in my ways. 99% of the time I am content. My ex kinda ruined sex for me, it would take a helluva to get past that. Life goes on and doing it alone isn't the worst thing in the world. Make the most of what you have, live and your, you can always change your mind about relationships later. ♥